Jokes

While proudly showing off his new apartment to friends, a college student led the way into the den. “What is the big brass gong and hammer for?” one of his friends asked. “That is the talking clock,” the man replied. “How’s it work?” “Watch,” the man said and proceeded to give the gong an ear [...]

First Teenage Martian: I was at a party on Mercury last night. His Friend: Was it any good? Teenage Martian: No! It was really boring. Friend: How come? Teenage Martian: There was no atmosphere. Second A flying saucer landed at a gas station on a lonely country road. The two space aliens inside seemed completely [...]

A boy is about to go on his first date, and is nervous about what to talk about. He asks his father for advice. The father replies: “My son, there are three subjects that always work. These are food, family, and philosophy.” The boy picks up his date and they go to a soda fountain. [...]

1. No one expects you to take a bath every day. 2. Your friends never expect you to pay for lunch, dinner, or anything else for that matter. 3. When it’s raining, you can lie around the house all day and never worry about being fired. 4. If it itches, you can reach it. 5. [...]