Jokes » fun

Original talking clock

admin — Thu, 12 Jan 2012 19:26:02 +0000

While proudly showing off his new apartment to friends, a college student led the way into the den. “What is the big brass gong and hammer for?” one of his friends asked. “That is the talking clock,” the man replied. “How’s it work?”
“Watch,” the man said and proceeded to give the gong an ear shattering pound with the hammer. Suddenly, someone screamed from the other side of the wall, “Knock it off, you idiot! It’s two o’clock in the morning!”

Discussions between aliens

admin — Wed, 11 Jan 2012 16:52:26 +0000

First
Teenage Martian: I was at a party on Mercury last night.
His Friend: Was it any good?
Teenage Martian: No! It was really boring.
Friend: How come?
Teenage Martian: There was no atmosphere.

Second
A flying saucer landed at a gas station on a lonely country road. The two space aliens inside seemed completely unconcerned about detection; in fact, the letters “UFO” were emblazoned in big, bold letters on one side of their shiny craft. As the station owner stood and gawked in silence, paralyzed with shock, his young blonde attendant nonchalantly filled up the tank and waved to the two aliens as they took off.
“Do you realize what just happened?” the station owner finally uttered.
“Yeah,” said the blonde attendant. “So?”
“Didn’t you see the space aliens in that vehicle?!”
“Yeah,” repeated the blonde attendant. “So?”
“Didn’t you see the letters ‘UFO’ on the side of that vehicle?!”
“Yeah,” repeated the blonde attendant. “So?”
“Don’t you know what ‘UFO’ means?!”
The blonde attendant rolled his eyes. “Good grief, boss! I’ve been working here for six years. Of course I know what ‘UFO’ means “Unleaded Fuel Only.”

Funny jokes in english (2)

admin — Tue, 10 Jan 2012 18:30:19 +0000

A boy is about to go on his first date, and is nervous about what to talk about. He asks his father for advice. The father replies: “My son, there are three subjects that always work. These are food, family, and philosophy.”
The boy picks up his date and they go to a soda fountain. Ice cream sodas in front of them, they stare at each other for a long time, as the boy’s nervousness builds. He remembers his father’s advice, and chooses the first topic. He asks the girl: “Do you like spinach?” She says “No,” and the silence returns.
After a few more uncomfortable minutes, the boy thinks of his father’s suggestion and turns to the second item on the list. He asks, “Do you have a brother?” Again, the girl says “No” and there is silence once again.
The boy then plays his last card. He thinks of his father’s advice and asks the girl the following question: “If you had a brother, would he like spinach?”

14 reasons why it’s nice to be a dog…

admin — Mon, 09 Jan 2012 18:06:08 +0000

1. No one expects you to take a bath every day.
2. Your friends never expect you to pay for lunch, dinner, or anything else for that matter.
3. When it’s raining, you can lie around the house all day and never worry about being fired.
4. If it itches, you can reach it.
5. And, no matter what itches, no one is offended if you scratch it in
public.
6. You can wear a fur coat and no one thinks you’re insensitive.
7. If you grow hair in weird places, no one notices.
8. You never get in trouble for putting your head in a stranger’s lap
9. Having big feet is considered an asset.
10. If you gain weight, it’s someone else’s fault.
11. No one tells you to wipe your nose because it’s wet.
12. No matter where you live, you own the place.
13. Your mate never complains because you whine.
14. Puppy love can last.

See Facebook Expectation vs Reality Photo

admin — Sat, 07 Jan 2012 14:17:47 +0000