Jokes

A virtual army of private bodyguards – about 90 in all – will be protecting Tiger Woods when he returns to golf this week at the Masters, London’s Sunday Mail reported Saturday. Woods’ vast security detail will include former FBI and Secret Service agents, as well as armed deputies – all of whom are believed to have received photos of the golf great’s sexual conquests.The world’s best-known philanderer reportedly fears a confrontation with one of his more than two dozen alleged mistresses. Read more on nydailynews.com

Authorities say four people are dead and one is wounded in a shooting at a restaurant in North Hollywood. Los Angeles Police officer Rosario Herrera says officers responded to an emergency call Saturday afternoon from the Hot Spot Cafe on Riverside Drive and found three people dead. The gunman had fled. Herrera says two people were taken to a hospital, where one later died. The fifth person is in critical condition. Police are searching for the gunman, described only as male around 30 years old. A motive for the attack hasn’t been determined.
source: USA Today

She’s one that typically likes to make her own rules, and when Erykah Badu took it upon herself to strip naked in public for a music video, well, she landed in the hotseat. The “Apple Tree” singer has been charged with disorderly conduct by Dallas police after removing her clothes in the middle of the day in a public square in Dallas, Texas earlier this month. Read more on celebrity-gossip.net

The European Organisation for Nuclear Research (CERN) said it had unleashed the unprecedented bursts of energy on the third attempt, as beams of protons thrust around the 27-kilometre (16.8-mile) accelerator collided at close to the speed of light. “This is physics in the making, the beginning of a new era, we have collisions at 7 TeV (teralectronvolts),” said Paola Catapano, a CERN scientist and spokeswoman, referring to the record energy levels achieved. CERN Director General Rolf Heuer could barely contain his excitement by video conference from Japan: “It is a fantastic moment for science.”Within an hour, physicists from dozens of countries around the world were marvelling at their initial observations, rendered graphically as colourful bursts of energy. Read more on physorg.com

It’s beginning to sound a little too familiar. A fourth woman has come forth claiming she too had an affair with Sandra Bullock’s husband Jesse James. And this woman has guns blazing – lawyering up with scorned woman specialist Gloria Allred. “She is in the process of trying to decide if she will come forward. She has proof of their relationship including hundreds of texts, e-mails and photos. The relationship just ended recently after the scandal broke,” read Allred’s statement released by Entertainment Tonight. Read more on miamiherald.com